The Yes That Empties You: When Giving Becomes Self-Erasure

The Yes That Empties You: When Giving Becomes Self-Erasure

We give, to make someone happy. And sometimes, we give, hoping to feel needed.


We keep giving because we’re afraid of what happens if we stop.
Maybe we fear we won’t be loved.
Or useful.
Or remembered.


It’s interesting how being needed can feel like love—
And how quickly it turns into a cage.
Because if my worth lives in how much I can give you…
who am I when I have nothing left to offer?


If you found this post helpful, feel free to share it with someone who might benefit!

Warmly,

George Chan

This Is How We Heal

George Chan, MCOU, is a Counsellor, Grief Educator and Breathwork Coach who specialises in helping individuals navigate grief and loss through his private practice, This Is How We Heal. With a rich background in theatre and entertainment, George brings creativity and empathy to his work. When he's not in the therapy room, you might find him performing, choreographing, or working on a new production—or spending time with Luna, his Jack Russell Terrier, who doubles as his unofficial co-therapist and production critic.

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You Can Feel Without Falling Apart

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The Light Has to Want You Back