Chan Mali Chan Won’t Save Us - Why Grief Belongs on Our Stages: Rethinking Culture, Theatre, and Loss
I rarely pitch for shows. Not because I don’t want to, but because I need to believe the work matters. Theatre should carve open the quiet, aching parts of being alive - not just the parts that are easy to clap for.
A while back, I tried. I brought them stories of grief. Real ones, collected from sitting with people in their hardest hours. Stories that don’t fit into neat categories. Stories meant to unsettle.
The answer came back: “Not cultural enough.”
Maybe they were right. Maybe grief doesn’t belong in the bright lights of a festival. Maybe it’s too heavy for curated joy.
Strangely, I felt relieved. Because these stories matter too much to be made palatable. They deserve care. They demand courage.
We talk about culture as something vibrant. Music, color and celebration. And it is. But we forget:
Once, the living room was called the parlour—a place where families laid their dead, where neighbours gathered to mourn. Death used to sit at the heart of our homes.
Over time, it became the living room. Death pushed further away from us. Out of sight, out of mind?
But have we really stopped needing to gather, to grieve, to tell the stories of those we’ve lost?
Funerals are culture. The curve of a coffin, folded joss paper, the food shared with mourners, prayers sang in many tongues - every little detail carries big meaning.
That’s culture. Not just the glitter, but the grit.
There is nothing more human than grief. Nothing more cultural than how we carry our loss, remember our dead, and still find every single reason to keep living.
Grief belongs on our stages too.
Yes, there is value in remixing folk songs, in fusioning traditions. But if culture is truly about what makes us human, then grief - and how we survive it - might just be the biggest celebration of all.
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Warmly,
George Chan
This Is How We Heal
George Chan, MCOU, is a Counsellor, Grief Educator and Breathwork Coach who specialises in helping individuals navigate grief and loss through his private practice, This Is How We Heal. With a rich background in theatre and entertainment, George brings creativity and empathy to his work. When he's not in the therapy room, you might find him performing, choreographing, or working on a new production—or spending time with Luna, his Jack Russell Terrier, who doubles as his unofficial co-therapist and production critic.