Why Grief Can Feel Heavier at the Start of a New Year
Does grief ever surprise you like this?
Not in what’s missing. In what remains.
The start of a new year can bring mixed feelings.
Around you, people are talking about goals, motivations, fresh starts.
And for some, grief chooses this moment to tap your shoulder.
I saw my neighbour yesterday morning while walking Luna. Her husband passed away two years ago. Pretty sudden and unexpectedly from cancer. Usually she’d just says things like, “Going out ah?” or “Your dog very cute.”
But today she looked at Luna, took a pause, and said,
“呢隻好耐喎?”
(This one has been around a long time.)
Simple remark, but I felt something.
Because her husband knew Luna.
He used to comment on her, ask about her age, tease her weight, make baby noise when she trotted past.
And it struck me how grief sometimes shows up through continuity, not just loss.
Not in what's missing, but in what stayed.
Same Luna.
Same neighbour.
Same morning meet.
Just one less person in this picture.
Psychologically, we talk about how the relationship doesn’t end, it changes form.
Life shifts, but memory still holds a seat at the table.
Over time, perhaps the big anniversaries don’t break you anymore,
but the ordinary moments that used to be shared?
The news he would’ve laughed at, the new chicken rice stall he’d shake his head disapprovingly, that new season of TV show they would have binged together.
The sofa that still dips on his side.
Like the memory foam of him who isn’t here anymore.
For the bereaved, time moves..but also loops.
It loops.
Back into routines built for two.
A life once shared becomes a life observed in solitude.
So if this start of 2026 feels weighted,
if it brings a hollowness instead of fresh energy,
nothing is wrong with you.
Grief doesn’t follow calendars.
It simply stands where someone once stood,
and waits for you to notice.
Go gently with yourself.
原来哀伤不是忘不了，
而是依然记得。
想念不在大事件里，
而在最日常的细微处。
风景没变，
只是少了一个人一起走过。
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Warmly,
George Chan
This Is How We Heal
George Chan, MCOU, is a Counsellor, Grief Educator and Breathwork Coach who specialises in helping individuals navigate grief and loss through his private practice, This Is How We Heal. With a rich background in theatre and entertainment, George brings creativity and empathy to his work. When he's not in the therapy room, you might find him performing, choreographing, or working on a new production—or spending time with Luna, his Jack Russell Terrier, who doubles as his unofficial co-therapist and production critic.