Rewriting the Stories That Hurt Us: How to Break Free from Old Narratives
We hate randomness.
So our brains look for patterns.
In the theatre world, we call it a plot.
Something breaks?
We search for reasons. We connect the dots.
It’s how we make sense of the world —
how we make the unbearable bearable.
A girl watches her father pack his bags.
In every movie she’s seen, dads look back,
promise they’ll come home.
Hers didn’t.
He got in the car, started the engine,
and disappeared for two decades.
So she wrote her version:
Everyone leaves. No one looks back.
Years later, her own marriage ends.
She tells her counsellor:
See? I knew it. No one ever stays.
There’s the thing that happened.
There’s the story we built around it.
And there’s the belief we keep performing —
long after the curtain should have fallen.
As someone who’s worked in theatre for years,
I’ve seen good scripts revived again and again —
same lines, same heartbreak, just a new coat of paint.
Sometimes we do the same with our old stories.
We lug them back onstage,
same words, same ache —
forgetting we can write ourselves a different fate.
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Warmly,
George Chan
This Is How We Heal
George Chan, MCOU, is a Counsellor, Grief Educator and Breathwork Coach who specialises in helping individuals navigate grief and loss through his private practice, This Is How We Heal. With a rich background in theatre and entertainment, George brings creativity and empathy to his work. When he's not in the therapy room, you might find him directing, choreographing, or working on a new production—or spending time with Luna, his Jack Russell Terrier, who doubles as his unofficial co-therapist and production critic.